Post by wtflove on Feb 14, 2009 22:28:12 GMT -5
This has got to be by far the strangest college visit I’ve gone to.
So at around 8:30, my dad and I head out. I pretty much just play Tactics Advance and listen to Dong Bang Shin Ki serenade me with a language I don’t really understand. At around… 10:00, we get to Harrisonburg. My dad is really excited because he saw the glowing signs and most of them were for Chinese restaurants or buffets. LOL. As a result, we missed the Holiday Inn we were supposed to go to and had to turn around.
We park right at the front of the Holiday Inn and the first thing I see are two hookers. At least, I thought they were hookers. They had on stilettos, tight black dresses waaaay too lowcut and short, had a chunk-full of mascara and lipstick, and were both smoking. Hooker number 1 – a brunette whose boobs look like they’re going to pop out of her dress going, “SURPRISE” – says to her friend, “… and so I was all, ‘Bet I can give better head.’ God. Thinking about it, I really want to suck some dick right now.”
My dad and I had gone inside Holiday Inn and we hear the music blaring. The man at the front of the desk told us that there was a sorority party going on, which would explain the fancy-looking hookers. My dad and I head upstairs and then he turns to me and whispers, “What a sorority?”
So I had to explain it to him as we made our way to the hotel room. We get in and we flip on the switch… and only one light comes out. Out of six. Great. So we run to the lamps and have to turn them all on and then my dad is all, “I have twenty bucks and McDonald coupons – LET’S GO!” So we leave the room and walk down the hall, past the many doors; one of them was slightly open and we could hear people laughing hysterically and singing, most likely drunk. A person screams, “Let’s totally get high now!”
As we’re walking through the lobby, we notice that there are two girls making out in their scanty dresses. A group of guys (and some girls) are taking pictures. One of the guy touches himself. Awesome; a sneak peak at JMU. We run around them.
So we drive to the nearest McDonalds and we go in and it was NICE. Like, nice seats and tables, nice paintings, nice EVERYTHING. Too bad it was infested with rednecks and emo kids. After waiting for a group of 10 guys to buy just ONE fucking cheeseburger, my dad gives me a coupon and I go up. The guy – his name was Jeremiah – is obviously a newbie; he had trouble locating the buttons and had to call the manager twice in order to figure out how to ring up an order. Giving him the coupon only confused him more. Eventually, after ten minutes, I finally got the food, my dad got a free drink, and we left.
We drive back to the Holiday Inn and we park back at the front. However, the group of girls making out has increased and we can’t get in. So my dad and I stand outside awkwardly and my dad is all, “Uh, excuse us.” Being the rude bimbos that they were, they continued to eat each other’s faces, so my dad and I quickly scurried off to the back entrance. We take the elevator up to our floor and start walking.
Now, our room number was 311, and the hall was from 350-360. We’re walking, we get to the end of the hall, look around, can’t find 311, and we freak out. My dad actually went, “WE’RE LOST! I’M NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN!” So we had to go back downstairs and had to open another door and walk…
… down the hall of the sorority party.
As soon as we opened the door, the smell of alcohol hit me like a wave. Seriously, it was THAT strong. So my dad and I attempt to weave past the crowd and there are two police officers standing around. One of them says, “And this one chick asked if she could give me a lapdance.” Oh God.
So we’re back at the lobby and had to go to the floor. These are the conversations I picked up:
A girl in a tight red dress that again pushes your boobs up, blond hair, was crying and talking to her friend. She said, “I mean, I’ve never had sex with a woman before.”
A couple was sitting on one of the seats and making out/humping one another. The guy said, “Not now or I’ll blow” rather loudly.
A group of black chicks not dressed up for the sorority party were leaning against the wall. They looked like they were going to beat up my dad and I. One of them mutters to her friend, “Dammit, this is the worst vacation ever.”
Two girls dressed conservatively and in shades of grey are talking to one another. They seem harmless. Then one of them opens her mouth, speaks, and is apparently a he.
We finally make it back to the floor and walk down the room. The room that we had passed earlier still has the door open; one of the girls screams, “LET’S FUCK.”
My dad and I end up eating burgers and I take a shower. The perk: WARM WATER. SRSLY. There is none at my house, so I was all, “Oh yeah… this is great.” Finished with the shower, did some Government homework and watched the Food Channel. LOL. My dad had gone out to call my mom, then he called his sister in Malaysia… he said when he was at the lobby, several people were passed out on the floor.
THE NEXT DAY
We had to wake up at 7:45 and we got ready, checked out, and went to JMU. The campus is really nice and the atmosphere was great. THERE WERE ASIANS.
Everyone was required to go to a student panel at around 9:00… I go in there and the room is PACKED. I saw an Asian that looked like Johnny Bui (Only Trey and Jay know who he is) except he was darker, his hair was dyed red, and he looked high. After that, I had to take two tests… ear training and piano placement (scales, chords, sightreading)… that was pretty easy. Afterwards, my dad and I decided to go out and get something to eat.
We finally make our way to this Vietnamese restaurant because I am just craving some PHO. We walk in… NO ONE IS THERE. SRSLY. We sit down because the food is cheap and this old lady comes to greet us and bring us menus. A chef peaks out and is stunned to see customers at the restaurant. The lady shoos him back.
The food sucked. SRSLY. The noodles had no flavor whatsoever; the PHO here is much better. I felt like acting like a Top Chef judge and telling them to pack their knives and go, but I didn’t, for fear of knives that would stab me.
Went back to JMU. THIS IS WHEN I MET “THE BOY.” Shock factor: He was not Asian. LOL.
My dad and I were waiting outside one room to talk to the faculty of the music department and “The Guy” sits down in the seats across from us. He’s tall, brown hair, hazel eyes, nice bone structure, handsome. My dad and him start talking and then he and I start talking… small talk, you know? Anyways, after the meeting I go back to a practice room, thinking I will not see “The Boy” anymore.
WELL, my piano audition time was at 3:15. Apparently, his audition time was 3:00. (Imagine that.) “The Boy” and I end up talking for about one and a half hours. He said I’m a crazy Asian girl and told me an interesting fact: 85% of JMU’s students have an STD. Comforting. I told him I would start a club just for virgins, but then the members probably wouldn’t be virgins for long if we declared it. He laughed.
So apparently, “The Boy’s” name is Morris. He says he’s only had two years of piano… he played a bit for me; he can’t do classical music, but when it comes to composition, this guy is AMAZING. Like, REALLY good. We continued to chat and he told me that he’s hoping to get scouted out – he plays basketball. He asked if I played any sports. I said Wii Tennis. He laughed again.
NOW GET THIS: Morris is apparently “a bit of a gamer.” LOL. I literally jumped up from the seat and went, “HOLY SHIT, WHICH GAME DO YOU LIKE TO PLAY?!” XD He was surprised and told me “wow, you’re a gamer girl… that’s… rare.” Apparently, his obsession as of now is Call of Duty. I told him that I was replaying Final Fantasy Tactics Advance for the fourth time. THIS WAS THE BEST PART: He’s played it too. We both ranted about job options, how Mewt was a whiny little bitch, how we secretly wished we could have Llednar on our team. LOL. He didn’t know about the Corrupt Judges Arc and when I informed him, he was all, “NO WAY.”
We end up walking upstairs to the audition room and he gets to go early. Two girls run up to me and one of them was all, “We’re so sorry! We’re supposed to greet you at the door! Is anyone inside?” I told them that Morris was inside and they were all, “… LOL SO YOU LIKE, MADE A FRIEND ;D” Morris finishes the audition, walks out, we say goodbye, and he leaves. I go in, get my audition done (I did well), and when I walk out, a group of students are outside like, “HI.” LOL PARTY? They gave me candy. I politely took the candy and left.
SO YEAH, THAT WAS MY ADVENTURE TO JMU.
So at around 8:30, my dad and I head out. I pretty much just play Tactics Advance and listen to Dong Bang Shin Ki serenade me with a language I don’t really understand. At around… 10:00, we get to Harrisonburg. My dad is really excited because he saw the glowing signs and most of them were for Chinese restaurants or buffets. LOL. As a result, we missed the Holiday Inn we were supposed to go to and had to turn around.
We park right at the front of the Holiday Inn and the first thing I see are two hookers. At least, I thought they were hookers. They had on stilettos, tight black dresses waaaay too lowcut and short, had a chunk-full of mascara and lipstick, and were both smoking. Hooker number 1 – a brunette whose boobs look like they’re going to pop out of her dress going, “SURPRISE” – says to her friend, “… and so I was all, ‘Bet I can give better head.’ God. Thinking about it, I really want to suck some dick right now.”
My dad and I had gone inside Holiday Inn and we hear the music blaring. The man at the front of the desk told us that there was a sorority party going on, which would explain the fancy-looking hookers. My dad and I head upstairs and then he turns to me and whispers, “What a sorority?”
So I had to explain it to him as we made our way to the hotel room. We get in and we flip on the switch… and only one light comes out. Out of six. Great. So we run to the lamps and have to turn them all on and then my dad is all, “I have twenty bucks and McDonald coupons – LET’S GO!” So we leave the room and walk down the hall, past the many doors; one of them was slightly open and we could hear people laughing hysterically and singing, most likely drunk. A person screams, “Let’s totally get high now!”
As we’re walking through the lobby, we notice that there are two girls making out in their scanty dresses. A group of guys (and some girls) are taking pictures. One of the guy touches himself. Awesome; a sneak peak at JMU. We run around them.
So we drive to the nearest McDonalds and we go in and it was NICE. Like, nice seats and tables, nice paintings, nice EVERYTHING. Too bad it was infested with rednecks and emo kids. After waiting for a group of 10 guys to buy just ONE fucking cheeseburger, my dad gives me a coupon and I go up. The guy – his name was Jeremiah – is obviously a newbie; he had trouble locating the buttons and had to call the manager twice in order to figure out how to ring up an order. Giving him the coupon only confused him more. Eventually, after ten minutes, I finally got the food, my dad got a free drink, and we left.
We drive back to the Holiday Inn and we park back at the front. However, the group of girls making out has increased and we can’t get in. So my dad and I stand outside awkwardly and my dad is all, “Uh, excuse us.” Being the rude bimbos that they were, they continued to eat each other’s faces, so my dad and I quickly scurried off to the back entrance. We take the elevator up to our floor and start walking.
Now, our room number was 311, and the hall was from 350-360. We’re walking, we get to the end of the hall, look around, can’t find 311, and we freak out. My dad actually went, “WE’RE LOST! I’M NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN!” So we had to go back downstairs and had to open another door and walk…
… down the hall of the sorority party.
As soon as we opened the door, the smell of alcohol hit me like a wave. Seriously, it was THAT strong. So my dad and I attempt to weave past the crowd and there are two police officers standing around. One of them says, “And this one chick asked if she could give me a lapdance.” Oh God.
So we’re back at the lobby and had to go to the floor. These are the conversations I picked up:
A girl in a tight red dress that again pushes your boobs up, blond hair, was crying and talking to her friend. She said, “I mean, I’ve never had sex with a woman before.”
A couple was sitting on one of the seats and making out/humping one another. The guy said, “Not now or I’ll blow” rather loudly.
A group of black chicks not dressed up for the sorority party were leaning against the wall. They looked like they were going to beat up my dad and I. One of them mutters to her friend, “Dammit, this is the worst vacation ever.”
Two girls dressed conservatively and in shades of grey are talking to one another. They seem harmless. Then one of them opens her mouth, speaks, and is apparently a he.
We finally make it back to the floor and walk down the room. The room that we had passed earlier still has the door open; one of the girls screams, “LET’S FUCK.”
My dad and I end up eating burgers and I take a shower. The perk: WARM WATER. SRSLY. There is none at my house, so I was all, “Oh yeah… this is great.” Finished with the shower, did some Government homework and watched the Food Channel. LOL. My dad had gone out to call my mom, then he called his sister in Malaysia… he said when he was at the lobby, several people were passed out on the floor.
THE NEXT DAY
We had to wake up at 7:45 and we got ready, checked out, and went to JMU. The campus is really nice and the atmosphere was great. THERE WERE ASIANS.
Everyone was required to go to a student panel at around 9:00… I go in there and the room is PACKED. I saw an Asian that looked like Johnny Bui (Only Trey and Jay know who he is) except he was darker, his hair was dyed red, and he looked high. After that, I had to take two tests… ear training and piano placement (scales, chords, sightreading)… that was pretty easy. Afterwards, my dad and I decided to go out and get something to eat.
We finally make our way to this Vietnamese restaurant because I am just craving some PHO. We walk in… NO ONE IS THERE. SRSLY. We sit down because the food is cheap and this old lady comes to greet us and bring us menus. A chef peaks out and is stunned to see customers at the restaurant. The lady shoos him back.
The food sucked. SRSLY. The noodles had no flavor whatsoever; the PHO here is much better. I felt like acting like a Top Chef judge and telling them to pack their knives and go, but I didn’t, for fear of knives that would stab me.
Went back to JMU. THIS IS WHEN I MET “THE BOY.” Shock factor: He was not Asian. LOL.
My dad and I were waiting outside one room to talk to the faculty of the music department and “The Guy” sits down in the seats across from us. He’s tall, brown hair, hazel eyes, nice bone structure, handsome. My dad and him start talking and then he and I start talking… small talk, you know? Anyways, after the meeting I go back to a practice room, thinking I will not see “The Boy” anymore.
WELL, my piano audition time was at 3:15. Apparently, his audition time was 3:00. (Imagine that.) “The Boy” and I end up talking for about one and a half hours. He said I’m a crazy Asian girl and told me an interesting fact: 85% of JMU’s students have an STD. Comforting. I told him I would start a club just for virgins, but then the members probably wouldn’t be virgins for long if we declared it. He laughed.
So apparently, “The Boy’s” name is Morris. He says he’s only had two years of piano… he played a bit for me; he can’t do classical music, but when it comes to composition, this guy is AMAZING. Like, REALLY good. We continued to chat and he told me that he’s hoping to get scouted out – he plays basketball. He asked if I played any sports. I said Wii Tennis. He laughed again.
NOW GET THIS: Morris is apparently “a bit of a gamer.” LOL. I literally jumped up from the seat and went, “HOLY SHIT, WHICH GAME DO YOU LIKE TO PLAY?!” XD He was surprised and told me “wow, you’re a gamer girl… that’s… rare.” Apparently, his obsession as of now is Call of Duty. I told him that I was replaying Final Fantasy Tactics Advance for the fourth time. THIS WAS THE BEST PART: He’s played it too. We both ranted about job options, how Mewt was a whiny little bitch, how we secretly wished we could have Llednar on our team. LOL. He didn’t know about the Corrupt Judges Arc and when I informed him, he was all, “NO WAY.”
We end up walking upstairs to the audition room and he gets to go early. Two girls run up to me and one of them was all, “We’re so sorry! We’re supposed to greet you at the door! Is anyone inside?” I told them that Morris was inside and they were all, “… LOL SO YOU LIKE, MADE A FRIEND ;D” Morris finishes the audition, walks out, we say goodbye, and he leaves. I go in, get my audition done (I did well), and when I walk out, a group of students are outside like, “HI.” LOL PARTY? They gave me candy. I politely took the candy and left.
SO YEAH, THAT WAS MY ADVENTURE TO JMU.